Sexponsibility. Whose responsibility?

Sexponsibility. Whose responsibility?

Some years ago, one of my protege in school walked up to me and said that his girlfriend was pregnant. I turned to him and asked how he could be so sloppy and irresponsible, he was shocked and said it wasn’t his fault,  he thought his girlfriend was on the pills, I then asked him if he had ever discussed contraception with her, he said no. I asked if he ever bought her the pills, he said no, and so, I told him point blank that he had just left the responsibility of his future in the hands of another person.
This takes me back to my question, whose responsibility is it to use contraceptive?
Throughout history, women have been saddled with the responsibility of ensuring that they don’t get pregnant. This irks me to no end because God the Master creator did it such that a woman cannot impregnate herself, which goes to show that the responsibility of getting pregnant or not does not solely lie on her. It actually takes two.
Men are generally portrayed as weak and irresponsible when women are saddled with the responsibility of contraception. Some argue that men are so flippant about such issues and they tend to forget easily, especially when they are in the mood… Which to me, portrays them as weak and unable to control their urges.

Our society has not helped the matter, as women get all the blame in cases of unwanted pregnancies. Which means the responsibility has been solely placed on the womenfolk. This  is further demonstrated in the number of contraceptive methods made for women compared to that of men. Men only have the condom, withdrawal method and vasectomy, women have them all, ranging from pills, iucd, cervical cap, diaphragm, injectables to hormonal patch, and tubal ligation. Even the manufacturers have women in mind as their target users.

The flip side
Asides the fact that men are perceived as weak and unable to control their urges when they leave a woman to be fully responsible for an act they are both participants in, it also gives the women unending power over the men as they decide when to get pregnant and when not to.
More so, the risk of spreading STIs, Herpes and HIV is increased when men do not take responsibility for their actions.
There is an increased risk of unwanted pregnancy as well.

The solution
Sex is usually and mostly enjoyed by two partners, the responsibility for safety lies on both of them. There should be adequate communication between both partners on who should use, what should be used and why.
Sex education should include both boys and girls. This would inform them adequately and emphasize the need for shared responsibility.
If a couple decides that the woman should be on contraceptive, then the man should adequately support her, physically by purchasing and providing money for it and emotionally by discussing the side effects with her and showing support all through, in and out of bed. That way, even though the man isn’t directly on it, he has shared the responsibility with his partner.
What do you think? Who should be responsible for contraception, a man or a woman?

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This post was written by

Ayokanmi ADEGOKE is the founder of AyBlog and a registered Nurse and Midwife who received her training at OAUTHC Wesley Guild Hospital, Ilesha and Ondo State School of Midwifery, Akure who currently practices as a Medical Social Worker with a focus on Case work, School social work, Substance Abuse and Clinical social work.

One Response so far.

  1. Dr Olagundoye Olufemi says:

    While I quite agree with your submission may I emphasise that the brunt and the consequences is borne more by the woman especially when unmarried. The lady caries the load, bears the sicknesses, academic losses and carrier consequences.
    This is why the woman/girl should learn to say NO when both parties are not prepared/ready for the eventualities.
    Typical of animalistic behaviour, the man discharges the stuff and walks away leaving the woman to battle with it and the results